bleep

i hate what people have told me
the random im's i get
the things people have done to try to break something i've committed myself to. lately i've been doing a good job with putting all of it to the side and stopping it from letting it get to me, but a little fragment of what's read will always stick out and make its way into my head
maybe thats why i always need a reminder
or a bit of clarification
just to feel okay again
because lately it's been so hard to be able to stand tall with a smile on my face with all the things that have been going on


so this game i'm in, i'm loosing terribly
i've stumbled so much
i felt like God sent down an angel to comfort me
at first i couldn't understand her. she spoke to me in vietnamese
and then realized i wasn't vietnamese.
it was like she could see how hurt i was
when i was sitting there letting everything out.
but i did a lot of thinking today
and i'm starting to realize a lot more
i feel like i'm on my last straw.
and i feel like my patience is running out

i know there'll be more falls,
more stabs in the back
more pain
i survived today
i can survive more to come.


i was pretty pissed off today. the plan for my morning failed. so a cute breakfast with my boyfriend failed. and working out together failed. music practice was a success. we learned 3 new songs. so that was pretty cool. i walked to church. and i'm never wearing my black tommy hilfiger shoes on days where i do a lot of walking, for example. when i go to disneyland. wearing those hurt. i sat in confusion for the whole rest of the day until the end of gl. went to mass, saw some old friends. then mikes house for dinner. my night didn't end so great. i was only seeking clarification. but instead of just that, i got a little bit of everything. i guess after what happend today, i just feel so low. that i need that reminder.
i didn't feel right today. everything was a mess.