i want to go deeper
why can't we make it happen?

so these past few days have been fun, maan i feel like i live at the pascuals house. i've been going there almost everyday! its crazy! i wish my relationship with my siblings was similar to the bond they've got going on. but anywaaaays, i've been having a good break so far.. yet each day i feel something weighing me down and whatever it is.. it's piling up. i'm afraid that i've dug myself a hole that i can't get out of until i do what i need to do and make a decision. =/ man this is pathetic of me.
i'm praying that i get thru this and don't regret the decision i end up making. it looks to me that i'll lose someone or something no matter what i decide to do. i want to get this decision stuff over with, but i have to wait x amount of days/months..

anyways, i'm excited for new years!
and excited for the retreat at the end of the month!