once, every year

Father's day.
Sometimes I picture what my life could have been like.
Pretty pathetic how I still don't talk to him.
It feels like I'm never going to know what went wrong..
I started thinking that maybe he got mad at me for drinking milk from the bottle when I was 4 or 5.
Or when I didn't flush the toilet... Or when I gave him a hard time when I peed all over the slide in pre school/ left my doll in the classroom and gave a fit about going back inside to get it.
one day I'll find out.. Just not any time soon.

Dad, I'm sorry I don't greet you every morning, or say hello and give you a smile.. or acknowledge that you're around. I'm sorry I don't tell you 'Happy Fathers day' or thank you for all the times you've had to give me money after being forced to from mom.. and for all the times you've picked me up from places/given me rides to those places when I didn't have a car. I am thankful for you and I do appreciate you. Without you, there would be no food to come home to and the kitchen wouldn't smell so good.

Today I realized that there's 3 months left.
I'm also happy that I don't throw a fit before having to do something.