sick day

i stayed in bed the whole day yesterday
cause i came down with some kind of cold the other day
and it got worse
so i decided to wash my bedsheets
I feel a little better
maybe it was my bedsheets doing the damage after all
i watched Funny Girl
and loved it.
made some meatballs for lunch
and i guess i'm going to have it for dinner soon.
driving when its windy is scary
i made a u-turn yesterday
because i got scared
i chickened out
not because of the wind
but because of what i was putting myself through.
for what was going to happen when i walked from my car door
and into the next door
where would i have gone
what would i have done
would i have broke down
i was nearly on the verge to
i made a u turn at the halfway point of my car and the door
cause i'm a wuss? sure.maybe
or maybe its because i want to respect decisions made
yet i wonder if its for the best,
a part of me doesn't want to give up
and a part of me feels like a wimp for not going all the way..
i'm a girl and when it comes to these kinds of issues
i can either stand up for myself and go for what i want, or back down completely
thats what this has over me
i want this year to be over with.