I never thought I'd find myself back on this track. I think i've been doing a pretty good job in hiding it. But keeping it in for so long does so much damage. The little things are starting to hurt twice as much now. I'm running away from people trying to help me. Pushing them away. I'm acting as if I don't need them. I'm acting as if I'm not hurt.. when in reality.. deep down.. I really am. I miss those hang outs, the get togethers, the whole group. I miss inside jokes. I miss all the laughs, all the talks.. i was really happy then..

i know i'm a highly emotional person.. and i guess i just don't know what to do anymore. To have everything in your life and suddenly not... feels strange. it sucks. after letting go of one, i ended up losing more instead of just one. and i was prepared for the outcome.. but now.. i'm not so prepared for this.. I guess I wasn't expecting it at all.. and I know i said it was okay and that I understand.. but now i'm not okay with it. I don't understand.

I've been hit.
It's like i've lost a part of myself
It's like I'm walking around with no name.
I feel as if i'm walking aimlessly
trying out different directions but
i'm just getting lost
i never thought depression would come back to my door.